怎么最近的我，会有害怕的感觉？祖母就快要走了，可是我人却还在这里，可能就连她清醒的最后一面都看不到。家人的阻止，让我想回家的念头怯步。我逐渐的，害怕起来。害怕面对身边的朋友，也不懂怎么面对身边的朋友。我对自己到底是怎么一回事，都搞不清楚。因为最近，心情的起伏太大了，超越了我之前的纪录。可能就是因为心情的转换，令我自己变得害怕起来。之前对着朋友，虽不能说是有说不完的话题，但是至少不会完全说不出话来。可是这几天，却让我达到了这种境界。朋友问我，你怎么那么静，不像你哦！是的，我完全想不到话题可以聊。怎么搞的？也不能说是不像我吧，应该说是我回到了中学时期的我，不说、不笑、不理…我不要这样，我要快乐！我需要朋友，一个可以看到我心情转变而提醒我的朋友，一个可以时时刻刻提醒我要开心的朋友，一个就够了，会有吗？我不想再有这种害怕的感觉，朋友，能不能帮...
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Sunday, February 22, 2009
~@@~
22nd February 2009, SundayToday plan to format my laptope and luckily get help from Chris.He came here and help me format my laptope, using the original OS.After that, we go to Mid-Valley.Plan to watch Red Cliff at first but no seats already, so watch The Punisher.Then we go had our lunch.After lunch, still got time before movie, so go to the pet shop again.I love the fish there, all so beautiful.After...
Thursday, February 19, 2009
~TirEd~
19th February 2009, ThursdayToday really a tired day for me, don't know why.Today lunch, go to the mamak stall in front of school.I still have 2 sem to go, one year more to stay here.But the food here, I really don't know how to gone through the coming days.Working also eat at here, study also eat at here, I scare will vomit ler.@@After work, don't know why, feel very tired.Walked to Kean Aun's car,...
~Wednesday*Week 7 of training~
18th February 2009, ThursdayToday suddenly log in many things to me. But this is a good thing also because I will have things to do.Go to lunch with Chris and Teo near my house there. Teo's car is being broken last Friday.He really is a very funny guy.After came back from lunch, continue my work again.Store log in more things to me at afternoon.After work, wait for Kean Aun at lobby alone because...
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
~Tuesday~
17th February 2009, Tuesday This morning, when alarm ringing, I still feel sleepy, sweat. As usual, had my breakfast, today breakfast I took bread because yesterday went to buy with housemate, hehe. As usual, go to work. When lunch time, called back to mum, asked her something because I feel uncomfortable...
Monday, February 16, 2009
【心情篇】最近
呵呵，最近不懂怎么搞的，不止心情乱糟糟的，睡眠也好像变得不正常了。是自己的心理作祟，还是真的压力，其实我自己也搞不懂。原本以为，自己已经是一个开心的人了，可是好像太高估自己了。还是学生的生活精彩些，不需要每天做一样的东西，过一样的生活，学生的生活真的是多姿多彩。呵呵，可能因为最近家里真得太多事情发生了，又接到消息说祖母的情况不稳定，可能随时要回去。呵呵，总之，就是一团糟啦。最近这几天，都好像不在状况下，睡眠还算是蛮足够的，可是还是会觉得累，应该是睡不好吧。而且很多时候，都会在胡思乱想，呵呵，是时候什么都别想了，好好的睡一觉。晚安~! =^...
16th February 2009, MondayToday no mood at all.What happen to me lately?Every night can't sleep well, sure will woke up around 4am or 5am, then sleep again in not very good condition. Then wake up again and again until it's time to wake up.Why this will happen? Am I too stress? I don't think so actually, because I am not thinking anything before I slept.Last night, the feeling scares me. I thought...
Sunday, February 15, 2009
~WhaT daY iS It?~
15th February 2009, SundayWhat day is it?I gone through a bad day today.Whole day feeling moody.Is it because didn't go out?Afternoon had lunch with housemate at Paramount there.After lunch, had a long chat with Ji Shon through phone, he called me.Talk about problems I am facing now.He said he can feel others emotions lately, this make him really tired and try his best to help.Ya, I always want to...
【心情篇】一团糟
哭了是的，眼泪又那么的不听话，自己夺眶而出了。为什么？眼泪，怎么可以那么轻易的掉下？曾经答应自己好多次了，就还是那么的没用。最近，不懂怎么搞的，很难控制自己的心情。和自己说好了的心底话，和自己心里约定好的约定，都一直一直的没办法做到。好讨厌现在的自己，一个不能控制自己心里想什么的人。虽然如此，我还是可以在朋友面前做他们认识的慧虹，只是纠缠在心里的事，没人看得到。今天的我，完全的失控了。虽然不是什么大事，可是我却一而再的让眼泪放肆。原本以为自己会控制得好好的，下到来了楼下，还是无法控制，再让自己回到没人的房间里。就这样，上上下下了几次，和妈妈通过电话后，才能够控制着放肆的眼泪。下午，和朋友聊了好久的电话，只知道，我不懂该怎么回答他的话，什么都只能说不知道，因为他所说的，我们都试过了、用过了，可是。。。真的好累，人生就是这样的吗？很可笑的是，自己竟然连自己的心情、情绪都控制不了，还配有朋友吗...
【心情篇】笑★下篇
人生，终于要踏入另一个阶段了，现在，是适应那个阶段的日子。来到了这一个全新的环境，认识了好多好多不一样的人，他们有的是不一样的人生目标。很庆幸，自己选择了这一个环境，让我认识了不一样的人，看到了不一样的事物，间接的，让我对生命的看法有了改变。以前的我，是盲目的追从，也因为家里的事情，日子就让它得过且过、过一天是一天。但是认识了这一些人，令我往后的日子里，看见了自己应该走的路、应该定下的目标。也让我对笑，有了新的看法。记得，从一位很好的朋友身上，学到了一个我从来没想过的事情。一直以来，笑对我来说，只是掩饰自己的内心世界而已。但是，他却点醒了我，他告诉我，笑，是因为要让自己快乐起来。笑，不是向别人交待，而是向自己的心交待，告诉它说，是时候快乐起来了。人生不就是这样吗？做什么事情，都要能对自己有个交待。当一个人心情不好的时候，看到别人的微笑，很自然的，也会跟着微笑。这就是笑的魔力。它并不只是能够让一个人开心起来，它还可以让身边的人一样得到快乐。记得那一天，我坐了四个小时的车程，才刚到八打灵，就接到了家里的消息。没办法之下，和屋友借了电话打给妈妈，所以让他们猜到我家里出了什么事。过后，一个人躲在房里哭泣。当事情告一段落时，我才安下心来，整理自己的杂乱的心情。下到楼下的时候，屋友就问我还好吗。就是他们那张脸上少许的微笑，令我的心情平复了许多。谢谢那些以微笑来平复我心情的朋友，你们让我看到了，只要还活在这个世界上，就会有希望。笑，已经不再是掩饰自己心情的工具，...
Saturday, February 14, 2009
~Lonely Valentines XD~
14th February 2009, SaturdayThis year Valentines is at Saturday. A very boring Saturday.Wake up at 4am something and can't fall asleep already.Received Chris message early in the morning, he doing called since 3am.Hmm, engineer life same like doctor? Also need standby 24 hours?Wake up, washed clothes, clean the part of house that responsible, and nothing to do already.Had lunch with Chris after his...
Friday, February 13, 2009
~Happy Valentine to all my friends~
13th February 2009, FridayToday is just a normal day for me.Nothing happened. Just a very normal day.Go to work as usual, come back from work as usual.Didn't go anywhere.I started wondering, can I gone through such a boring life after graduate?Is better stay here working or go back Butterworth working?If stay far away from family, the daily life is just like now, go to work, come back, face computer,...
Thursday, February 12, 2009
~Week6~Thursday~
12th February 2009, ThursdayStill need to work for 2 days only can rest.Why this week I so blur and don’t like to go to work?What happen to me?Today also nothing much to do.But after lunch, Yap asked Phuah pass some of his things for me. This is because he busying for the Lenovo laptope and his Cisco and IRIS already many didn’t settle.Yap want Phuah pass me IRIS, means from now on, I will be handling...
【心情篇】想念
表妹去了Australia已经一个星期了。开始想念在远方的她了。前几晚，有和她在msn里聊了一下，多多少少知道一些她在那里的状况。昨晚，她给了我她的部落格，我也很雀跃的上去看了。却发现，记录的并不是开心的事情，而是到了远方，一个人孤单生活的情怀。没有任何的亲戚，没有任何的朋友，没有任何人的帮忙，去到一个完全不熟悉的环境。吃饭一个人，上学一个人，听课一个人，塔巴士一个人，在学校里走动一个人，申请学生证也是一个人，什么事情都是一个人。这种感觉，我想了都想哭，因为我害怕一个人的感觉，害怕孤独寂寞的感觉，很佩服她会这么的坚强。虽说我害怕孤独寂寞的感觉，但是内心深处，依然是孤独寂寞的。或许，我早已习惯内心的寂寞，只是不习惯身边没人陪伴做任何事情。好坚强的表妹，我好想念你，如果今天出了国的人是我，我想我一定会每天以泪洗脸。当初我离乡背井，到这里来念书的时候，我都没有那么的想念大家。或许是因为这里怎样...
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
【心情篇】错过
错过。我真的不想再错过了。这些年来，自己好像朦朦胧胧中错过了好多事情。中学时期，因为害怕自己担当不来的责任，错过了能够拿高职位的机会。也因为没勇气，而错过了真挚的友情。因为前途，错过了照顾妹妹的黄金时期。上了大学，因为一时的意气，错过了和朋友一起出外游玩的机会。工作了，更因为“不好意思”，而错过了和同事相处的时间。是不是什么事情都不要再考虑，只要有人给我机会，无论是去哪里，或是做什么，都不要再考虑就答应吗？我错过的东西实在是太多太多了，是否可以不要再错过了？虽然是他/她主动提出，但是又有些不好意思，我是不是不要再错过？之前也错过了好多次机会和时间，这一次，该推掉呢？还是接受建议？有些矛盾，有些为难，有些难以抉择，说穿了，我还是害怕别人的眼光，害怕别人的闲言闲语。虽然很清楚自己不需要理会别人，可是还是会情不自禁的去介意。不想再错过了。不要再让自己的人生有遗憾。我该做这样的决...
~dEclaRatiOn~
11th January 2009, WednesdayToday also very blur.Feel scared in the morning because of younger sister.But nothing I can do since I am here, not at hometown.Lunch time, go to eat with Chris and his boss, Hee.After lunch, Chris went to call. But saw him around 4.30pm.He told me he can go home already and prepare to go home sleep.As usual, after work, walked a long way to Kean Aun’s car.Eddie asked me...
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
~bad day~
10th February 2009, TuesdayToday I had gone through a very boring time at office.I don’t know why I will feel very “blur” today.This morning when Chan came in MRC, he said I looks like haven’t wake up yet.Then whole morning nothing log in to me.Finally gave Chris the things I buy for him. I almost forget already and he called me at 10am, said I should have something to give to him.Sister told me yesterday,...
Monday, February 9, 2009
~anOtheR boRinG dAy~
9th January 2009 Monday Today actually me and Chris plan to go to his Setapak house watch movie using his 32inches screen. After that, we will go his friend’s shop tonight to see the lion dance. But he told me last Friday that he have call today at 10am. He sms to me said that 10am call is confirm this morning and will called me after the work done. Around 2pm, he called me said that haven’t done...
Sunday, February 8, 2009
~SundaY- 1U~
8th January 2009 SundayToday not much different like yesterday, also is a boring day.Yesterday we plan to go to shopping after Ron back from singing K.Ron came back at 3.30pm.We go to 1U at 5pm.We just walked here and there and looked around. Did not buy anything.After that, we had Pizza for our dinner. After eating, we sit there chit-chatting until 9pm.I want to buy some Maggie to put in house so...
【心情篇】笑★上篇
笑最近常常有人问我，“你是不是很喜欢笑？从来没有看过你是没有笑的。”我真的时常笑吗？是的，上了大学之后，不管遇到多烦恼的事，我都会笑着去面对。。当然，还是会有心情不好的时候。。只是脸黑的时间，都不会很长，而且通常都是一个人的时候。。所以每当别人问我的时候，我都会回答：“笑着对人不是更好吗？为什么要黑着脸对人？”自己心情不好，就要学会自己控制自己的情绪。。已经几岁了，不再是小孩子了，难道还要发小姐脾气吗？身边一些朋友，有些是会发小姐脾气的。当看到朋友这样的时候，很自然的反应就是躲开他/她，谁会知道会不会无缘无故被子弹射伤。我常常在想，不能让别人见识到自己的脆弱。所以最好的掩饰方法，就是笑。记得曾经因为压力，而在学校里不能控制的留下了眼泪。但是，又很自然的比自己停止，不能让眼泪放肆，逼自己挤出微笑来回答朋友的问题。当自己心情很不好，很想发脾气的时候，我还是一样拼命的逼自己笑。那是因为，我不想...
Saturday, February 7, 2009
~bOriNg SatUrdaY~
7th January 2009 SaturdayToday really is a boring day.Whole day don’t know do what. Just online and watching movie only.Some of MRC colleague were working OT today because they have a lot of things to do.Gary said will come find me at 5.30pm.Jackie went out whole day.After Gary came, I take him to Boon Peng’s house to pick up BP and Kean Aun, then I asked him to send me back home and I will follow...
【心情篇】故事的开始
曾经在好多地方开了属于自己的部落格自己的心情写照可是一段时间过后就会懒得打理终于来到了blogger开了属于自己的个人空间Maple Leaf Street那只是一个属于我记录生活点滴的地方并不多含任何的心情写照所以让自己又开了另一个希望自己有时间打理吧也希望可以把我的心情都写下来或许不会每天更新可能几个星期才会更新可是就是希望有时候自己的心事会有人可以给些意见而不是每一次自己默默地承受所有的压力谢谢身边的好朋友是他们给了我很大的勇气很大的鼓励继续的走些去不再回头看谢...
Friday, February 6, 2009
~Friday*Lion Dance~
06th January 2009 FridayYesterday already received a new that, our company will have lion dance performance today.This news was confirmed after lunch.Early in the morning, people from other department already came in to see Yap to ask our department people’s help to go to OCBC Bank to scan virus.So Yap sent Lawrence (New trainee from COMM2 to train laptope here) and also Eddie go to there.Same as...
~back to work after MC~
5th January 2009, ThursdayAfter one day MC, I go back to work again.Today feel much better than yesterday already.But the pain still hasn’t recovered all.Luckily not much things to do today.Don’t know why the cough medicine those given by the doctor make my throat more itch.Chris asked me to go buy the medicine that he brought to me last time because that one I left at hometown, did not bring back...
~MC~
4th January 2009, WednesdayLast night whole night cannot sleep. I go to bed at 11pm, but wake up at 12am and can’t sleep until the next morning.It is because it’s too painful until I couldn’t breathe and couldn’t sleep at all.Feel like want to go for doctor but already mid-night, who can take me go for doctor?So I just wait till morning.Called Mr. Yap to take MC today since I still feel very...
~half day MC~
3rd January 2009 TuesdayToday, as usual, go to work in the morning.My cough hasn’t recovered thoroughly.I felt very uncomfortable in the office.I felt pain near my heart there which I also suffer once before when last semester break at hometown. That time was because of sister, we both cried together and I feel pain that time. I recovered after one or two days, I can’t remember already.But today,...
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
~back to work~
2nd January 2009 MondayToday is the first day of working after Chinese New Year.When I came in office, there are a lot of hard disk and tape drive left at my table, but most of them already tested by Phuah and Eddie, thanks to them.So I just continue with paper work and also some tape drives that haven tested by them.Chris called me around 9.30am when I am doing my work because he did not work. He...
Monday, February 2, 2009
～boring sunday～
1st January 2009One month of 2009 past already.Now only realize that, a lot of things happen in these past few months and years, a lot of things make me change, make me think differently. Since the day I reached Petaling Jaya to study until now, already more than one year.In this one year and more, I had learned a lot of things which cannot learn from any books.I also saw many types of people that...
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